High tea has never really done it for me.
It’s one of those things- like tapas in Australia- which I put in the category of ‘how to blow a wad of money and still be hungry’.
It’s an eating venture which usually involves cardigans, kitten heels and the celebration of a female milestone. It usually makes up the tame bit of a hen’s night, so the great aunts and grannies can feel involved.
It’s not the kind of thing that you do with the menfolk.
So you can imagine my surprise when on The Hungry One’s last day of freedom before he slipped into the realm of a stern new contract, he said he’d like to go to afternoon tea at a place he’d read about.
Bea’s of Bloomsbury.
Half way between Holburn and Chancery Lane on Theobalds’ road there’s a quaint looking store. Out the front there are white chairs and tables, refugees from a garden party. In the window there’s bunting and a display of cakes to make your inner child twirl twice and clap their hands.
But what really gets you is the smell. Open the door and out oozes the lip bitingly sweet scent of caramelizing sugar and gently browning butter. It’s like you’ve been forgotten while playing hide and seek, tucked up in your grandmother’s baking cupboard.
Bea’s of Bloomsbury is a bakery. Past the young and funky staff, hissing La Mazarocco espresso machine, flocked chairs and long table of ladies picking at tiers of treats are the bakers, toiling away. Everything is made in house.
From meringues the size of kittens, to gift wrapped bags of passionfruit marshmallows, to individual cheesecakes, it’s a diabetic’s nightmare. The glass counter is crowded with cupcakes in ornate towers. Some are topped with curlicues of pastel buttercream icing, others include a fresh berry nippily perched on top. Underneath there’s an array of cakes, sold whole and by the slice.
With limited space, it’s also tricky as to get a seat, so Bea’s recommend bookings, particularly on weekends. This is something we are blindly ignorant to. Only the fact that it was ear blisteringly cold and a 2pm reservation had just cancelled allowed us to slide into a spot.
Last year Time Out voted Bea’s the best ‘no frills’ afternoon tea in London. It’s easy to see why. For just under a tenner you’ll be staring down a proper scone, clotted cream and jam, a cupcake, a mini Valrhona brownie, a mini Belgian Blondie, and a mini meringue. Somehow I don’t think you’ll still be hungry after that. In sugar shock, perhaps, but not hungry.
Among the gaggle of girls all around us, we’re the only ones who aren’t indulging in the full experience.
But you see, there’s some cheesecake under that counter. And The Hungry One is finding it very hard to look elsewhere.
It seems this is no ordinary cheesecake. It’s peanut butter, chocolate and caramel, swirled together in a slice that could clog arteries by osmosis.
When it’s delivered it comes with a warning and a smile;“You may have to take a break half way through”
I don’t quite know how to tell them that my husband once ate an entire cheesecake to himself during a night shift.
It’s sweet with a staccato of salt and crunch from the peanut butter. It’s gone in 60 seconds.
For me it’s a pot of Earl Grey tea, from Jings (who supply the tea to Fat Duck among other places). It’s chosen from a list of 11 that’s printed on a lollipop style arrangement, nestled in a milk jug with flowers.
To go with it there’s a slice of Victoria sponge, noble and tall, stuffed with cream and Bea’s lemon curd.
It’s a sponge with substance, more cake than air and there’s a satisfying squelch that comes from the centre when you fork your way through. On a cold day in London, it’s exactly what the doctor ordered.
And it’s not even winter yet. Golly help me.
If the weather was nice or seats were scant, Bea’s also does a deal where they’ll pull together an afternoon tea hamper for you, complete with thermos, rug and a map showing local parks.
Considering the climate, we bundle up for the walk back. To sustain us there’s a take away latte, made with skill from Square Mile beans, and for The Hungry One, a hot chocolate.
“That’s very good hot chocolate”I say to The Hungry One as I steal a sip. “I know. It’s Valhrona”, he says, slightly smugly.
I think I’m going to let him start picking places more often.
Bea’s of Bloomsbury
44 Theobald’s Road London WC1X 8NW
Tel: 0207 242 8330
Hours: Mon – Fri 8am to 7pm.
Sat 10 am – 7pm, Sun 12 – 7pm
www.beasofbloomsbury.com
Closest tube: Chancery Lane
